How to deal with uncomfortable emotions

All of our emotions, even the uncomfortable ones, are valid and useful to us in some way; you can think of them as messengers, trying to tell us something important about our current situation. So rather than shying away from what we are feeling, it's important that we give ourselves time to fully feel each and every emotion, and to understand how they affect us, on both a mental and physical level.

By learning to 'sit with our feelings' and welcome them in with a sense of curiosity rather than one of fear, we can become more comfortable with experiencing our full range of emotions. Without this, we run the risk of these emotions manifesting in our bodies as pain or fatigue, and in our mind as anxiety or depression.

So how do we do this?

#1 It all starts with us creating an awareness of when we are experiencing an uncomfortable emotion. Bring your attention onto the feeling and stop trying to ignore it or resist it. You can even acknowledge its presence in a playful way by saying silently, "I see you there!"

#2 Identify and name the emotion that you are feeling - eg sadness, anxiety, anger etc. Ask yourself, "When have I felt this way before?" and, "Why am I feeling this now?"

#3 Accept that the emotion is there and remind yourself that it's OK to feel it. All emotions are valid and imortant to us. Remember to show yourself compassion, too - observe the feeling without judgement and speak to yourself the way you would speak to a good friend, because we ALL experience difficult or painful emotions.

#4 Allow yourself to become curious about the feeling:

Whereabouts in your body do you feel it? Your chest? Your stomach? Your shoulders?
How much space is it taking up in your body?
If this feeling had a colour, what would it be?
Is it static or does it move or spin?
Maybe you can think of your own questions that will allow you to tune into what you are feeling.

#5 Allow the feeling to move through you until the intensity passes. Its OK to cry, shake, rant and rave, stomp or sigh. Do what you need to do to feel the full force of that emotion, knowing that just like every feeing you've ever had that has come and gone, this one will not last forever. Some people find it helpful to journal their feelings - writing (and drawing/painting) is a great outlet for our emotions!

Next time, I'll show you a really simple way to move forwards from difficult emotions and begin the process of shifting yourself into a more resourceful and helpful state - quickly and easily!